 ammo cans: tupperware for men
antacid: LSD for ants
antelopes: usually grown in a laboratory, but occasionally found naturally in the wild... be careful to keep 'em away from the posilopes or else they'll cancel each other out
audio: the crew would exclaim "Aw, Dio!" whenever Ronnie James Dio (the mighty midget of metal) screwed up on stage...
bed tool: only slightly less skankly than a tongue slut
beer on chips: how not to load gak in the truck... "You put amp racks on top of the fast fold screens? Do you drop a case of beer on top of your potato chips at the grocery store too?"
bipolar bear: first he eats you, then he cries about it...
blondie the bimbette: she's perky, dumb, and almost always blond... so of course she expects to live by her looks
border collie: official mascot of Border Patrol
borderline collie: neurotic Lassie
boobies: pointless without nipples...
bull in a vagina shop: tear it up
castin' spells: is this what gangbangers are thinking when they flash gangsigns to some old fucker like me? 'cause their gangsigns don't mean dick to me
cats: nature's speedbumps
chesticles: balls up front, all firm and round
chubby chaser: guys (and girls) with a fatty fetish...
cleavage: nature's eye magnet
clit mouse: the most unused part of a laptop...
clit shifter: part of a split 10 manual transmission (ask a trucker)
cracka lackin': the condition when one is lacking crackers
crazian: my Japanese wife when she's angry at me (aka: crazy Asian)
Crystal Methodist: Bible Thumper on crack... most big cities have 'em downtown on the street corners and I've even heard 'em on the CB radio trying to convert the tweaker truckers
cunt punt: swift kick to the groin (aka: vagina shiner)
cunt scrape: (aka: pap smear)
déja food: (aka: leftovers) today's lunch was last night's barbecue
déja moo: same ol' bullshit
déja voodoo: maybe the hex will work better the second time around
democracy: the freedom to choose our own dictators
disoriented: my Asian wife when she spins around too quickly
Doctor Philibuster: thinks he knows it all and won't shut up about it
doggy style: so rednecks can both watch NASCAR and tweakers can both peek through the blinds
Dolly Llama: Dolly Parton's llama... duh...
downside up: hey, it's still upside down oif you think about it
drug attic: it's upstairs, man...
emo: it's like goth, but for pussies
feeder tan: wearing gloves, but the forearm still gets dirty from handling feeder cable (ask a stagehand)
fire line: the bucket brigade
FNG: don't be that guy
fucktard: an overly caffeinated way of blurting out "fucking retard"
halfway to Helen Keller: me, when I can't hear too clearly... too many years of loud angry music has killed my ears
head with my chicken cut off: is how I run aroun d at work tryin' to keep it all from hittin' the fan
horngry: horny and hiungry
good buddy: a good buddy is one who goes downtown to get himself a blowjob, and then brings one back for you
in my contract: where all the secret perks lie... also, a good stock answer to why I goof off at work so much
Justin Bieber: he's such a cute little girl, isn't he?
'king brilliant: as in "Fucking brilliant!" (aka "Smooth move ex-lax!" from back in elementary school)
lady gag gag: she loves it when you poke her face...
laptop dance: a computer nerd's favorite dance
lesbian: a lazy co-worker who won't do dick
liquid crack: Red Bull, Rockstar, Mountain Dew, Monster, etcetera
lynching: official sport of the KKK
mace: it's what drummers smell like after sex...
manscaping: get out the trimmers, we're going down under...
marco chollo: you know, the East LA version
monkey boy: the smallest guy when loading the truck
mud duck: a mumblefish on the radio
mumblefish: eh? speak up! I cunt hear you! Hmmm, must have an ear infuktion...
necktie: foreskin covering for salesmen
NFG: "Non Functioning Gear" for when the client is looking over your shoulder... and, you ought to know what it means when they're not...
penis fly trap: pink taco, bearded clam, verticle smile... take your pick...
personally or professionally: take your pick, how do you want it done?
Pete & Repete: twins or clones... take your pick
Peter Puffer: (aka: Richard Smoker)
poonami: hold your breath for it, it's the diaper change from hell
power stripper: sure, she'll make you a sandwich, then she'll fuck you with it
punchline: Jonestown had a long one, my prom had a short one... (buy me a beer and I'll explain it to you more in depth, but buy me the beer first)
Rebecca Black: some call her the female Justin Bieber, but I thought Justin Bieber was the female Justin Bieber...
salary: Latin for "sucker"
shredneck: America! Fuck Yeah!
sin: if you don't do it, Jesus died for nothing
slut puppy: she's cute, young, and drunk... what are you waiting for?
spank you very much: a most personal way of showing gratitude
squint: a lighting guy
taste: the main difference between an oral thermometer, and a rectal thermometer
tongue slut: so skankly you dare not fuck her, but you'll let her suck your dick any day of the week... (aka: sperm burpin' bitch)
urinade: not to be confused with Gatorade...
urine: as in "it's all urine" when I hand off a piece of gear down the fire line
vagitarian: only the finest cuts of meat need apply
verse visae: or vise versa...
video: more Ronnie James Dio mischief, this time with VD from a groupie making it a case of "VDio"
vidiot: one who works with video |
